Miami Before & After (6 mo. difference)

This past weekend, I went back to Miami with the girls for the sister's bachelorette party. Was trying to locate some pictures for a side by side comparison, but I didn't have many choices to choose from as my before. Here's a picture of me at Miami back in Apr/May 2012 (10 lbs lost):

Notice how I covered up very well? That used to be the most revealing I'd ever get. 

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Here's me this past weekend in Oct 2012 (30 lbs lost):

(I'm on the far right)

(on the far right again)

Miami was so much fun. Riding bikes in South Beach, walking up and down Ocean, Collins, and Washington Ave. Window shopping, hopping nightlife, and pretty scenery.  Must get back there soon!

As for my food, I was pretty laid back. Didn't go overboard, but kept it loose so I can have fun with the friends. Sharing food is exceptionally tasty. 

Pushing for the Big 3-0 Loss Mile Marker!

I am ONE pound shy from reaching my 30lbs lost milemarker, and how can I say this... I am VERY DRIVEN to get there by this week's end! Extra 2 miles on the treadmill at 6mph, OK! Skip that evening snack, OK! Drink coffee black, OK! I WILL WILL WILL get there!

My friends and I are heading down to Miami this 4 day weekend to celebrate my sister's Bachelorette Party! And yes, we WILL be wearing skimpy outfits to the Halloween Party. Yes, we will be tanning out at the famous South Beach. Yes, we will be dressed fancy with pretty little heels for the high end dinner cruise, and YES we will have an epic single girls in their mid-20's vacation extravaganza! And as much as I get hard on myself for those many times I slipped this past summer, I am so proud of myself for that late March sometime when I decided "enough is enough!" Because more than 6 months since then, I am lighter than what I weighed 6 years ago as a college sophomore!

Here's a picture I took yesterday at the gym. I did a double take because my back looked a lot leaner than it used to. Hooray!

Demons in My Head

Many of my friends and family think I am always so strong and confident. Just the other day, I was telling my sister how I used to cringe at the mirror for years when I noticed the bulge in my tummy. I was telling her how I'd find myself hiding behind large purses, coats, hair, etc, not liking what I saw reflecting back at me. Then she went on to comment, "Really? I always thought you were so confident! Jo and I would always talk about how you probably look at the mirror every morning and say 'hey beautiful, you look good!" Funny, I don't remember thinking that every morning. I guess perception of someone can be drastically different from the reality of what's really going on.

But the truth is, I have many insecurities and I've had many more in the past. Enough insecurities which began my push towards weight loss and healthy eating, hoping that this will get the long worn out feelings of "guilt" and "feeling unattractive" to vanish.

And as I am making a mess through this so called life, I am learning to find that true happiness stems from no person nor the things of this world. True happiness sprouts from knowing I am special, and that there is a bigger purpose and reason, one that stems from goodness, kindness, joy, peace, patience, etc. But in the meanwhile, I still find challenges that get to my head. 

If there is one thing I've learned this past year, it's that I can't change the world, only Jesus can. But what I can change is myself and my behavior, my outlook on life. And by changing me, I hold a better chance of influencing my surroundings for the better. So relieved. =)

Compliments Are Yummy

April 2012 (that's me on the left @ my heaviest)

October 2012 (at my 25 lb mile marker)

As of today, Oct. 16, 2012, I have lost 27 lbs. And I am here to testify that this is a mysterious mile marker that has brought me more compliments regarding my weight loss than ever before. My dad, my sister's in laws, my friend A, just to name a few from this past weekend. Up until now, it was always a passing "you look like you lost weight," but now I'm getting complimented with the "wow, you look so different" and "you look really good" on top of the new and may I add "uncomfortable" stares from strangers whom without permission look me up and down :(

Overall, glad to see the results shining through. It's so funny how I can't quite see the difference. I feel like its the same me looking back in the mirror every morning, but supposedly I'm smaller. I did my first purge of clothes this past weekend, and gave away a handful of clothes I no longer wear nor fit. There were a handful of "big comfort" clothes I was holding onto for when my regular clothes were too tight. So long comfort clothes! And all of the clothes that were "too tight" are now my new wardrobe. Good thing I held onto these over the years, in hopes of fitting them again. I had too many jackets and tops that were so tight around my arms that in fear of the loss of circulation I had stopped wearing. But now, these dear old things fit perfect, even with the buttons and zippers all zipped up! And the best news.. I am now an official M from L on top and a size 12 from a 14/15 on my bottom.

For the past decade, it was always my dream, my new year's resolution, my goal.. to lose weight. But looking back, I realize how much I "dreamed" and never took any action. I never really accepted the possibility that it can happen now rather than through some magical illusion through God himself in my distant future. And finally, as I see these numbers going down to what is supposed to be the "normal healthy" me, I feel so honored to have stumbled across this "something" that has triggered this reality of change. It's so amazing to know how life is ultimately a "blank check," and I can do whatever I put my mind to. And although I have only shared my health journey on this blog, it's quite amazing how much I have been able to take both my spiritual journey and financial freedom to a whole to level ever since I started taking ownership of both.

Before and After (Bridesmaid Dress Version)

Yesterday, the bride, bridesmaids, and I found our final dresses. For six months we have searched through many stores and online dresses, and alas we were stoked to finally find THE one. The picture on the left was the first set of dresses the three of us tried on back in April 25th, 2012. This was just a couple weeks into my new healthy lifestyle. Since then, I've had my ups and downs, but have been successful in making progress to an almost 25 lb weight loss.

The picture on the right was taken just yesterday, and I didn't really see the difference until I compared the two pictures. I'm really proud to see the difference so clearly.

Yes, that's me on the far left and the far right.